In her new album You Are Always On My Mind, OHYUNG, known as Lia Ouyang Rusli, intricately weaves the narratives of her past and present selves, reflecting on her transformative journey as a trans artist. This pop-oriented shift showcases her evolution from an experimental background rooted in noise and hip-hop, combining layers of light and dark through polished production. With tracks that explore themes of identity and belonging, such as “no good,” which confronts the darkest aspects of her transition, and “i swear that i could die rn,” celebrating the euphoria found in rave culture, OHYUNG’s album is both a declaration of love for her community and a poignant reflection on her personal experiences.
What was the main inspiration behind your new album, You Are Always On My Mind?
You Are Always On My Mind as a phrase is me fantasizing about a future version of myself that I’ve always wanted to be but too afraid to become. While this album started out as an experimentation in chopping up generic string loops, I was working at it during a time of change and transition, and mulling over this question before deciding to accept this future version of myself and move towards it.
You mention that the album serves as a conversation between your former self and your trans self. What does that dialogue look like throughout the album?
Different songs are from different perspectives. Some songs are from me, right now, looking at my future self, while some are from the perspective of my future self talking back to me at the time of writing the album. It’s sort of an imperfect framing as I believe transition is something everyone is doing all the time, but I guess in this case I use trans as a more medical, specific type of change. And in one song, I’m imagining myself at a rave and meeting my future self, seeing her across the room. The record ends with the phrase “I’m coming towards you” –I’ve made my decision.
How did your experiences with rave culture influence both your music and finding your true self?
Dancing to me is the best feeling. For the past decade I’ve been going out, dancing, folding myself in queer spaces and learning about myself in the safety of foggy, dark rooms. It’s been one of the most important things in my life and I imagine it will continue to be till I die, I’ll be one of those rave grandmas you see in viral videos.
The lead single “no good” deals with themes of self-doubt. Can you share how you approached writing that song?
I think I was writing the vocal melody for it, and the phrase kept fitting exactly to the melody I was writing. “Anyone can see, I’m no good for you, I’m no good for you.” I wasn’t sure where it was coming from, but the more I considered it I realized it came from a feeling of fear, from the perspective of my future trans self sowing seeds of doubt in my former self. It’s sort of a trans pessimist anthem unfortunately, but that’s life and honesty.
The video for “no good” features you in different personas. What was the creative process like for that video, and how do these personas relate to the album’s theme?
I worked with my friend day who directed it. Day is my rave partner in crime, we go dancing together all the time and have grown into ourselves together over the past few years. Creatively, I told day what the song and record was about, and they envisioned it in three sequences. The runaway bride persona I saw as me leaving the metaphorical pulpit– the safer life that I had thought I was living, for a new and unpredictable future. The dark room with a flashing light was a reference to raves and my live performance, in which I utilize flashing red bike lights. And the scarlet diva look I imagine as a metaphor for the future self, glamorous and drama queen lmao.
You’ve described the album as a mix of darkness and light. Can you elaborate on how you navigate those contrasting themes in your songwriting?
You Are Always On My Mind I think is tonally quite dark, often pessimistic, but also I think it pops with moments of beauty and visions of new life and purpose. And while I think that transition and taking your future into your own hands is a great feeling, there’s also a sense of sadness and thankfulness in saying goodbye to the old self, the version of me that got me to where I am today.
You often mention recontextualization in your work. How was this method introduced to this album?
This album is a combination of two of my practices: sampling/beat making and writing for strings as a film composer. For You Are Always On My Mind, I amassed a collection of generic violin/cello/string loops from sound libraries on Youtube/Splice/freesound etc, and rearrange/cut up/distort/recontextualize them into moody and atmospheric looped beats.
Having transitioned from experimental hip-hop and ambient music to a more pop-oriented sound, how do you feel this evolution represents your artistic journey?
I’ve always loved all kinds of music, and the challenge of working in different genres. I imagine I’ll continue to just follow where my heart goes. I kinda think as I work through different genres all the previous styles I’ve worked in will inadvertently make their way into everything in the future.
Looking back at your previous albums, how do you feel you’ve grown as an artist from Untitled (Chinese Man with Flame) to your upcoming release?
In my first record, I was really angry, like outwardly angry about capitalism, racial injustice, all kinds of things that I didn’t know how to cope with. Now, I’m still mad about everything, but I think I have more community and more ways of coping. A lot of my work now is more introspective.
Can you share your thoughts on the importance of representation in art and how your experiences shape the messages in your music?
I think representation is important obviously, though maybe not as important as people in mainstream media make it out to be in comparison to focusing on things like fighting class inequality, imperialism, the police state, etc. I think it’s possible to hold both though— representation fuels our imaginations and our dreams, I wouldn’t be who I am today without the right representation. For me I make art and music about myself…i try to represent myself honestly, with some sort of grace and self-awareness.
What do you hope listeners take away from You Are Always On My Mind, and what do you want them to feel when they engage with your music?
I’m just doing my best to advance the trans agenda and hope all the young vulnerable listeners out there succumb to social contagion and become trans.
What’s next for OHYUNG following the release of your album? Are there any upcoming projects or collaborations you’re particularly excited about?
I have another ambient record that I’m already done with that I’m excited to release! Also I want to be a pop star so I’m working on a pop record. But pop is hard hmm this might take me a while…🤔
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You Are Always On My Mind is out now: https://lnk.to/OHYUNGYouAreAlwaysOnMyMind
