His music wasn’t originally intended for the public, and yet, in a very short amount of time, it started a wildfire that is still blazing. German artist Felix Dautzenberg, aka Berq, talks to KALTBLUT about the relationship between Berq and Felix, expectations and why, at 19, he likes to do things he doesn’t enjoy.
KALTBLUT: How are you doing?
Berq: I’ve just had two days without much going on. Since I have appointments throughout the year, such as concerts or video shoots, I can’t afford to be sick. It always hits me when I’m off and have time. In general, I’m doing well, but I’ve just predictably fallen ill now.
KALTBLUT: What has the past year changed for you?
Berq: It felt like everything and nothing. Everything in the sense that there are now two people in my life. So far, there was only Felix, and now there’s also Berq, who has taken up a lot of space this year. Everything is currently changing with Berq, and that’s why I realised it would be good to have more time for Felix again and find a balance.
KALTBLUT: What is the biggest difference between Felix and Berq?
Berq: Berq is always in a good mood. Felix is also mostly in a good mood. Berq, as a person, is also on social media and on stage, I thought about which side of Felix I can and want to let influence Berq.
KALTBLUT: What’s your vision for Berq?
Berq: Over this past year, I’ve finally understood, after many other people, what defines me and my music. I’ve been trying to understand what people see in it for a long time. As a 19-year-old guy who’s just finishing high school, I can be the person many can identify with, and at the same time, I have the freedom to make really weird music. As a person, I’m rich enough to be tangible. My plan is to push my music to the top, as weird as it can get, and still have people listen to it.
My plan is to push my music to the top, as weird as it can get, and still have people listen to it.
KALTBLUT: Your music is often contrasted with your age. Why do you think that is?
Berq: It’s the first time in my life that people are surprised I’m only 19. People always think I’m younger and don’t look old, either. Now, it’s probably the language, the vision Berq follows, and on the other hand, the themes that Berq sings about, which may not directly align with a 19-year-old for some. But aside from my music, I’m, of course, a completely normal 19-year-old.
KALTBLUT: What’s new about your music?
Berq: I believe my music is, above all, courageous. My friends didn’t accept or find my music cool, which is why I started sharing my music with the outside world early on, hoping that other people would like it. For many others, the goal is always to please, and by letting go of that goal early on, I handle my voice differently from others.
Many people come to me saying they find what I do totally weird, or it took them 20 minutes until they weren’t annoyed by my voice any more and then somehow thought it was cool. Letting go of the need for approval has given me the freedom reflected in my music.
KALTBLUT: Can you take us through your creative process?
Berq: I usually sit at the piano with a theme in mind, start playing something, and there’s a kind of interplay between words and harmony. In my music, everything is told through harmonies and broad chords. From there, everything builds up one after the other.
There’s always a theme or a story I want to tell, and harmonies that guide that. I write very few lyrics, and I only write when I have something. That will stand by me for the next year, when, possibly, an album will come before. During my high school years, I wrote this EP for two years and then released another song. I’m not someone who has 20 sketches stored in some Dropbox. This could be a problem soon if people expect songs or an album from me.
KALTBLUT: How do you deal with expectations?
Berq: Initially, it was very difficult, I struggled with a strong impostor syndrome for a long time. I didn’t understand what people found great about my music, and couldn’t continue until I could better understand it. I talked to people about it and quickly realised what it’s about: I wrote this EP without expectations. It was a project for a job application portfolio and not meant for anyone to like it. I continue to make my music in a way that I like, without making it too dependent on external opinions.
KALTBLUT: The session game is not yours. What do you mean by that?
Berq: I was thrown into this music world, and everything happened very quickly. Then I understood how it usually works. You go to the studio with a producer, with a few chords or a text idea, and they build something out of it for you. But I’ve always done everything myself and never liked it when people sat with their backs to me and built my song on their laptop. I met many people, and it rarely worked out, which is also a reason why so little music came out this year. Now I’ve found two people with whom it feels like we’re making my music together, and that’s a great feeling.
KALTBLUT: What is the magic in music for you?
Berq: For me, the magic of music is making music. This brings back the feeling I had when I could build Lego for hours. I remember friends ringing the doorbell and asking if I wanted to come out and play, but I didn’t want to leave this tunnel. I feel similarly about making music today. I wish everyone had something that triggers this sublime intoxication in them because that is truly something magical.
KALTBLUT: Is playing live also a part of that?
Berq: Honestly, no. Especially at the beginning, playing live was something I had to do because it’s part of it. I never enjoyed being on stage, but I quickly realised I had to do it if I wanted to grow and be discovered. Up to the Schmyt support, I really didn’t enjoy it much, where I actually played six shows in a row. From the first show, which was terrible, to the last one, which was actually fun, there was a big development but also a conflict that still accompanies me. Often, I have a lot of fun on stage, but sometimes, I don’t. That’s not easy to reconcile for Berq, who exposes himself on stage and is always very kind.
KALTBLUT: What is the relationship between Berq and Felix?
Berq: Last year, it often felt they were merging like a virus that completely consumed Felix. Everyone finds this development interesting, and eventually, all conversations revolve around Berq. Even in conversations with friends or family, it’s no longer about Felix.
At this point, it takes a lot of conversations and work because no one means it badly, and it often results from ignorance. This was a completely new task that can only be mastered with a lot of honesty. One person was very important to me in this process, and that’s Paula Hartmann. She discovered me very early on and took me under her wing from the start. Since then, she has been my big music sister, who helped me a lot, especially at this moment, as she experienced this herself. Without Paula, this would have overwhelmed me much more. I’m very grateful to her, and she has become a very important person for me.
KALTBLUT: What is the most challenging thing for you in the music world?
Berq: You need a much larger social battery than I have. When most people continue to move on and want to have a drink after shows or festivals, I just can’t manage that. While others talk to each other after events and are excited about everything around them, I’m at the end after 30 percent of this journey and just want to go home. This is probably healthy because this world also brings a lot of danger, but sometimes I feel like I’m not strong enough for all these social interactions.
KALTBLUT: How many jobs does your job include?
Berq: On the one hand, it’s the musician who sits in the studio and actively makes music. Although that’s what I enjoy the most, it only takes about ten to 15 percent of what I do. Making music videos, for example, overwhelms me because suddenly I have to be an actor too.
Then, there’s touring and playing live, but also everything behind it. This year, I probably spent weeks on ICE trains, travelling through Germany and coming to my limit countless times. I live constantly with the feeling of not being up to it and constantly having to step out of my comfort zone. I constantly oscillate between being constantly overwhelmed and it being a hobby.
Follow @berqmitq to keep up with releases and shows. Stream his music on Spotify here.
Cover photo by @felix_aaron.
