MAYHEM OF UNCERTAINTY – Seen from the inside by Blai Yichuan
“During the 2020 confinement I had the opportunity – and the obligation – to stop, think and reconnect with myself. I guess in periods of calmit is easier to perceive if your mind is overwor- king. I realized many things, but the main one was to reaffirmI was not happy with my situation at the time.
The funny thing is that this unhappiness made me feel guilty. Guilty for not finding myself, guilty for not valuing what I had, guilty for not having done enough.
When I was at the National High Performance Center in Madrid I had a psychologist who “saved my life”. She managed to bring out the best in me, reorient all my negative thoughts and help me grow as a person. I believe that thanks to the work I did with her I was able to redirect my mind and take advantage of my situation. In fact, in those weeks “Mayhemof uncertainty” was born. I used the process of introspection and detection of destructive thoughts to express and heal myself.”
Blai Barcones i sunyer 柏逸川 is a 3D artist who lives and resides in barcelona, spain. since he was a child he lived surrounded by mountains, flowers and cliffs. always in contact with nature and curious about his surroundings he developed his sensitivity through drawing, photography and writing.
as time went by, minerals, mythology and alchemy were replaced by study and sport. he trained badminton until he lived for three years in the high performance center of madrid.
since then his path has been a come back to childhood, bringing to life a fire that was always latent but, when time went by, ceased to fuel.
graduate in advertising and public relations from the univeristat pompeu fabra in barcelona, blai has ended up channeling all his artistic, philosophical and psychological concerns through digital creations. his work is the synthesis of internal chatter, countless hours experimenting and the desire to better understand a soul full of contradictions.
not knowing (future in gravity)
are you afraid to live among unanswered doubts? may thoughts in motion serve to keep us alive and not to make us feel helpless and bound
the everlasting judgement (assaulted by the past)
what would my past self think of me? various obsessions for all that was “lost” -although it never was-.
neo-christian evasion (flagellation and redemption)
i’ve always found it remarkable how easy it is for humans to take the same tool and use it for opposite purposes.
the chaos of thinking (mental maelstorm)
since when can’t opposing thoughts and emotions coexist in the same space? well, how they coexist is another matter.
surrender as the only way out (checkmate: light it up and start from scratch)
it may seem the only remedy, but it only assured me of one thing: the return to uncertainty.
“The main challenge was to make physical the emotions, the saturation of thoughts and the invisible effort to fight them. To understand the nuances and connotations of those judgments I turned to writing. There are many artists who claimto be visual, but in my case writing and communication have always helped me to better understand what is going on inside me.
So, although the first boost was always an image, it ended up being supported by texts. In addition to writing, I have always felt close to music. That’s why I created a music playlist on Spotify with songs that generated in me the feeling of personal drifting (you can find through www.blaiyichuan.com). Fromhere, everything was a work of composition, color and 3Dmodeling.
I feel very identified with dynamic compositions (Rubens, James Jean, Guillermo García Lorca…) and colors that tend to expressionism(Hermenegild Anglada i Camarasa, Pilar Montaner, Paul Gauguin…). Even so, in this first collection I have not covered each and every one of the technical aspects that I want to develop in order to express the appropriate connotations.”